Leaving a Legacy

Legacy Planning Series

 What:     45-60 minute conversation with individuals and their loved ones
When:    TBD
Where:   TBD
Why:      So that you can express your wishes clearly. There are important but often difficult decisions and conversations that we need to have regarding end of life matters. Specifically:

  • Planning your Life Celebration Service
  • Planning and communicating your end of life medical decisions
  • Planning and communicating your Will and Estate wishes
  • Planning and communicating your financial legacy

Why Plan:

  • You do have preferences – so communicate them clearly.
  • You don’t want to be a burden – so make the decisions that are yours to make
  • You do want to be helpful – so give as much information as possible
  • Your life will impact people after you’re gone – so take control of that legacy.

Invite your friends, family, and others who you wish to participate in this conversation with you or who want and need to have it for yourself. Following this presentation, opportunities will be provided for deeper individual conversation or additional more in depth discussion.

For additional information please contact:

Rev. Dr. Ken G. Crawford   ~    KenGCrawford (at) gmail (dot) com


 

Legacy Planning

Whether you are young, older or somewhere in between, everyone needs to let their loved ones know their wishes as they age and approach end of life.  Making these decisions now takes the burden off your loved ones because your wishes are clear and there is no doubt about who, what and how your wishes are handled. With each of the four parts below you will have a 1 page overview worksheet to guide your thinking, planning and discussion. You can give copies of these summary documents to people who may need to have access to the information at a later date.

Life Celebration and Remembrance Services:

“How do you want to be remembered?” – plan your life celebration (scriptures, hymns, stories, etc); write your own obituary and eulogy. Use this exercise as an opportunity to share what matters most with who matters most. Give a copy of this worksheet to your church pastor or secretary so it is available when the time comes for them to help your loved ones plan your final life celebration service.

Advanced Directives

(Medical and financial powers of attorney, declarations of guardian, living wills… in Texas a physician’s directive, agent to control disposition of remains, DNR, organ donation.)  These are important because they allow a trusted family member or friend to step into your shoes to make decisions for you when you cannot.  They also tell your medical and financial providers what you want in advance.  This takes the guesswork out of making these decisions when you are unable to and gives the family member or friend the authority to make these decisions when you cannot make them yourself.  This takes the burden and confusion away from your loved ones in a time of what is often great stress and heartache.

ABC’s of Estate Planning and Probate
Getting Your Act Together So Your Loved Ones Don’t Have To

Having an estate plan and a will in Texas is easy and imperative.  It significantly cuts down on the cost and ease of probate which is nothing more than transferring the ownership of property from the person who passed to the persons who inherit.  Without an estate plan and a will, Texas makes these decisions for you and it may not be what you want.  Having an estate plan and will in place makes your wishes known, clear and easily implemented.  Not having an estate plan and will in place can result in confusion, a lengthy passage of time before the estate is handled, and potentially, fighting and resentments among family members.

Financial Legacy:

The ABCS of the how tos, possibilities and whys for leaving a legacy to your family members, your church, or those causes and charities that you are passionate about.  Understanding these options allows you to leave a long lasting impact on your community.

 

They’ll never take our freedom

They may take our lives…
        … but they’ll never take OUR FREEDOM!!!

This is one of my favorite scenes from any movie. I’m inspired by several things in it:

  1. We choose how to live, ultimately. We choose whether to live a rich and full life, however long it may be, or to live small, petty lives in fear and want.
  2. People, situations and forces will work against our efforts to live free.
  3. Skirts, braided hair with ribbon, and makeup are cool, and no one ever made them look more tough and masculine.
  4. Most importantly, people cannot “take our freedom” because real freedom is internal. This is what Viktor E. Frankl discovered in the concentration camps during WWII, about which he wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning. Its also the sentiment behind Maya Angelou’s poemCaged Bird.

I’m inclined toward pacifism actually, though I acknowledge the necessity of war to defend those who cannot defend themselves. Even so, if we take the movie as not only historical fiction but also as a metaphor for our spiritual lives, then we can perhaps see how  if we do not fiercely live our freedom, then we have lost it already.

“Those who seek their lives will lose them, while those who lose their lives for my sake will find them.” (Matthew 10:39) Maybe there’s a connection there. Maybe.

Entering into God’s Joy

Sermon notes for 11/16/14  Matthew 25:14-30


When we learn to use
whatever God has given us
so that it bears fruit,
then the gift we receive
is the joy of God’s presence.

It doesn’t seem fair. Those who have nothing, even what little they do have will be taken away.

We see this principle played out all the time, don’t we? Those who are strong and good looking and affluent seem to progress based on these advantages, while those who lack these resources, at least as measured by the prevailing culture, seem to fall behind or at least plateau. Perhaps one of the most absurd examples is all of the free swag given to famous singers, musicians, actors and athletes. Those who could pay 10x for these trinkets get them for nothing. Of course we quickly recognize that the producers and vendors of said products consider this a marketing expense – hoping that said entertainers will choose to wear/use the products and advertise such, these days on twitter or other social media platforms. Fair never really enters into it.

And let’s be honest, who among us wouldn’t want our product or service promoted by someone who could get us exposure? What author would say, “No thanks,” to Oprah’s book of the month club? What designer doesn’t want to “show up” on the red carpet being worn by the latest bombshell or her escort?

It’s the same on the other end. We see the poorest neighborhoods repeatedly losing basic services – like access to quality, affordable, healthy food. Developers conspire with government officials to claim eminent domain in the interest of “the public good” and displace the poor from what has been home for generations. You’ll never see them drop a football stadium in the middle of Highland Park, for instance.

Some have been inclined toward righteousness indignation directed at God for including this pronouncement in both Matthew 25 and Luke 19. As though God were saying, “Here is how I want things to work.” We need to remember a few things about this text:

  • It is not about the physical, temporal experiences of wealth and poverty in this life. It is about the Kingdom of God/Heaven and parable is a reference point.
  • Parables are not allegories with which we can extrapolate point by point referents for each element in the story. They typically illustrate one broad idea, or perhaps two.
  • Not everything in scripture is prescriptive. Not every word is God saying, “This is how I prefer things to be. This is how they will be at the consummation and final settling of accounts for all things.” At least some of scripture, including much of Jesus’ own teaching, is simply saying, “This is how things are. You’d better wake up.” For instance, when Jesus says, “The poor you will always have with you,” we certainly would never conclude that Jesus intends, “I want there to always be some poor people.” He’s stating a simple fact. Much of the wisdom in Proverbs is of this sort – a father’s wisdom to his son: “You may not like it, but this is how the world works, and you need to be smart about things.”

Given all of this, what then is the parable about? Well, as Jesus says in the beginning of the chapter, “The kingdom of heaven will be like this .… (here he tells the parable of the wedding and the 10 brides maids, and then) .… For it is as if…” In other words, The Kingdom of Heaven is as if a man going on a journey summoned his servants…” Luke’s gospel frames the story slightly differently, but to the same effect: “As they were listening to this (Jesus’ encounter with Zacchaeus), he went on to tell them a parable, because he was near Jerusalem, and because they supposed that the kingdom of God was to appear immediately. So he said, ‘A nobleman went to a distant country to get royal power for himself and then return.’” (LK 19:11-12)

In both versions we have an absent landlord/ruler who entrusts servants with resources during his absence. They had been entrusted with the resources to care for and lead the nation, and they had failed. Their resources will be taken away and given to others. Luke’s immediate context and Matthew’s broader context both make clear that a theopolitical statement is being made hear – against the rulers of the Jewish community. As with much of Jesus’ teaching regarding the religious leaders of his time, these stories remind us that we are responsible for and accountable as stewards of that which we have – resources, opportunities, relationships, even our faith and spiritual/religious understandings. All of this is we have so that we might be a blessing to others.

Whatever we have has within it the seeds of more – more life, more truth, more hope, more peace, more opportunity, more prosperity, more faith. When we

We also see in these stories the importance of taking a chance, taking a risk with our lives. This is encapsulated in the truisms: “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all,” and “With great risk comes the opportunity for great reward.” Jesus says, “Unless a seed fall to the ground and die, it cannot bear much fruit” (John 12:24). True, that the primary point here is to reflect on his own death, and thus our following his example to release our own lives for the sake of the Gospel. A starting point in this journey is that we must step outside the door into the world. Unless we show up with our gifts, then we cannot bear fruit.

I think we err when we focus on the servant who buried the coin rather than investing it. The focus rather should be on those who were good stewards of the gift entrusted to them. Their reward was not the increase, which after all belonged to the master. Their reward was to “enter into the joy of the Master.”

This text undercuts any presumption toward a “prosperity gospel”, because the prosperity is not ours. The initial gift belonged to God, so any increase also belongs to God. What is ours is the joy of God which comes to us as we use that which has been entrusted to us.

The relationship between parent and child is a good example of this. Children are precious and fragile and vulnerable. Many a parent is tempted to harbor, shelter and protect their beloved from any and all threats. But as the prophet Dory said to Marlin:

Marlin: I promised I’d never let anything happen to him.
Dory: Hmm. That’s a funny thing to promise.
Marlin: What?
Dory: Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.

Parents have to learn the process of releasing their children into the world, a gradual letting go and learning a delicate combination of hope and trust.

What Jesus is asking of us (requiring from us?) is that we show this same combination of hope and trust with our own lives. We need to learn to parent ourselves, to nurture and care for and finally to release and send ourselves forth into the world. We can be like the third servant who in fear simply held onto what had been given, planning to return it at the end.

Every spring a farmer takes risks by planting seeds that could be eaten now in the hope of reaping a 100 fold harvest later.

Every entrepreneur knows that you have to pour yourself heart and soul into your idea, your dream, your scheme, and believe that it can succeed. Otherwise, you’d never start.

Every business person knows that it takes money to make money.

Every newlywed couple enters into their covenant relationship with hope and trust, but without certainty except that there will undoubtedly be difficult times, and that one will eventually grieve the loss of the other.

If all we plan to do is hand Jesus back the faith that has been given to us, the spiritual gifts entrusted to us, the church and gospel of which we are stewards, then even what we have will be taken away. We enter into God’s joy when we take risks.

Again I’m reminded of the end of the Mary Oliver poem “A Summer Day”. What if the parable is at least in part about your life? Could it be that there is a suggestion embedded within the text that your experience in the afterlife depends at least in part on what you do in this life? That is certainly the overt message of the next parable, so perhaps this one at least hints in that direction. This life is the only one of its kind that you will be given, whatever can or cannot be said of the afterlife from a Christian perspective. Don’t waste it on fear or resentment of others or of God.

It is also, I believe, about The Church. The church does not exist as a memorial to those who have gone before. It is not a mausoleum or a museum. The church buildings and property and resources are not here to be a witness of those who came before, but of the kingdom that is coming. These things around us are of worth and value only if they help us live and share the hope of the Good News. Imagine that you are characters in the parable, and all your church resources are the talents given. Eventually, Jesus will ask for an accounting, “What did you do with what I gave you?” How will you be able to answer?

When the Master comes, may he find us ready and eager rather than fearful or unprepared. Then, if not before, we will realize that we have been living in God’s joy all along.

Clarify your dream for your life.

Many of us are thinking this week about our accomplishments in the year past, and the things we hope to do in the year ahead. Some of these are personal quality of life topics, while others are more about our professional or work lives. Often we try to think and function as though these were separate and disconnected spheres, only overlapping or impacting each other during a heavy work project, on sick days or at the company holiday party. My own experience and observation indicates that an integrated life is a happier and healthier life – one where our personal and work lives overlap in healthy and beneficial ways. A great example of this is the growing trend in flexible work situations where people can be more effective and efficient at work because they are able to also accommodate their family needs, including caring for children, spouses and aging parents.

As we move into the new year, we do well to clarify our life dreams alongside our short term personal and professional goals. Otherwise, we may invest years and even decades into valuable endeavors only to discover far too late that we have failed to build the life we most wanted. When we have clarity around our life dream(s), then we can make choices each day that will move us in that direction, and can gather a community of advocates who will help us along the way.

DASL
Consider the possibility that your life needs more DASL. I’m not asking you to add bling with glitter and rhinestones. No, DASL stands for Dream ~ Articulate  ~ Share ~ Live. Dreaming is something that happens inside of our hearts, minds and imaginations. Our dreams want to come out, so we learn to articulate them, even when they do not seem to make sense to us, or seem irrational, unbelievable, impossible. Next we share this articulation of our dreams with others. We do this for several reasons. When we share, we hear ourselves and our dreams, and we come to believe in them more. We also continue to refine our articulation of our dreams. Plus, when others hear our articulation of our dreams, then they ask questions, catch the vision, begin sharing our dream, and experience an upwelling of their own dreams. This process naturally unfolds into the reality of living our dreams. When you see it, clarify it, and tell it, you begin organically to live it, and you find resources in people, ideas, tools, and energy that will help make the dream a reality.

Where is my dream?
If you already have a dream trying to burst forth, and you know it intimately, then the hardest work is already done. But what if you don’t have a dream, or can’t see/remember because it lies buried under obligation, fear or grief? In an upcoming post we will consider some techniques to uncover or discover your dream (personally or professionally). For now, go back to the last dream you remember having, and practice DASL with that. And when you’re ready to talk, let me know.

Best Jobs and How to Decide

“What do I want to be when I grow up?”

Whether you’re trying to decide that as a high school or college student, during a midlife “there must be more” crisis, or after a layoff, divorce or other life upheaval, this is an important and difficult question.

One source of data for consideration comes from CNN.com:
Best Jobs in America

You’ll also want to ask yourself:
What do I want out of life?

and:
What am I best at?

As you work through all of that, be sure to have conversation partners who can help you with reality check and creative thinking – both are important in the process and are enhanced through dialogue with other perspectives.

Let us know how we can help.