Tag Archives: Leadership

Entrepreneurs say “NO!” to “a balanced life”

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…..But if not balance, then what?

#BeyondBalance

During my time working among entrepreneurs over the last 15 years I have consistently heard and seen a rejection of the notion of “balance”. Anytime it is said, invariably some young grinder will scoff and say,

“There’s no such thing as balance.
Or if there is, I certainly don’t have time for it.
I’m 24/7/365 to build my business.”

At first I was confused, then troubled and concerned. I argued, usually just in my head, “You have to balance your personal health, your relationships with your work, otherwise what kind of life will you have? After all, no one on their death bed says, ‘I wish I’d spent more time at work…’” (Turns out some people do, but that’s for another time.) How can people live that way and be happy?

I’ve come to view it differently over the last few years.

The problem with the word balance is that people seem to hear it as “equal amounts of time and energy PUT INTO each segment under consideration. As in, “You need to put the same number of hours into your work, your relationships, your physical health, etc. On the face of it this is fairly unrealistic for most people. A week contains 168 hours. Let’s say you sleep 6 hours per night, leaving you 126 waking hours. Spend another 28 hours on eating and personal hygene. That leaves 98 hours for everything else – work, family and friend Balanced Life pie chartrelationships, exercise, recreation, spiritual and relitious practices. I think most entrepreneurs I know work between 60 and 80 hours each week on their thing, whatever that is. Frankly, many salaried and hourly workers put in as many hours on one or more jobs. In which case, balance that looks like the image here is impossible. That would mean 26 hours of your 126 available for each segment.

There are several false assumptions embedded in this mindset. One inherent falacy is the idea that these six facets of life are siloed, as shown in this image of six separate and distinct collumns – one for each of the six domains of human flourishing. The dominant understanding in this point of view is that the time and energy, behaviors and impact of Balanced Life - siloseach segment need to stay apart from each other. Two of the most obvious examples are: 1)
“Don’t bring your personal problems to work, and don’t bring your work home,” and 2) “Don’t mix your religion/spirituality with your work or relationships,” otherwise known as “Spirituality is a private matter, don’t talk about it with others.”

While there are certainly risks on the other end of this spectrum, the reality is that we cannot build imporous barriers separating these aspects of life. If we are having emotional struggles, or relationship problems, we cannot help but carry these with us into our occupational lives, and they will likely impact us physically.

This energy wants to flow naturally and organically from one to another aspect of life. When things are going well and we feel energized and excited, say at work, about an idea, or in a special relationship, then that positive energy wants to flow over into the other domains and bring vitality to them as well. Conversely, if we are feeling discouraged or depleated in one place, then that will draw energy away from the other facets of life. This happens without our thinking about it.

The gift in this organic system of life is that we can turn this natural process to our advantage. We can channel and direct the positive energy where we need it. We can counterbalance negativity and discouragement in one part of life by boosting the positive energy in another. Harvard Medical School reports that physical activity improves mood and mental focus. According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise can even help counteract the debilitating symptoms of clinical depression, improving quality of life and releasing more energy for other things. It even seems to slow some of the negative declines associated with aging, according to a study conducted at the University of Texas at Dallas. These improvements can have a significant opsitive impact on our relationships and our occupational lives.

If not balance, understood in the above “equal and distinct time and effort” way that seems common among entrepreneurs who dismiss “balance” as unatainable, or at least undesirable disruption to the persuit of their goals, then what?

How do we go “Beyond Balance”?

You may also enjoy reading DownTime,
and “New Seasons, New Priorities” – where I reflected on my own efforts to move #BeyondBalance.

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Featured image credit: Michael Grab – GravityGlue.com

What do you most want to do? What will you do?

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My goal in life is to read and write – and through these activities to make a difference. And along side this WORK, to be near or on the water, with my beloveds.

I think I’m wired the way I am for a reason – all pathology aside. My personality and my gifts and my strengths and my abilities and my experiences and my education and my connections and my unique point of view all somehow work together to make me who I am. (perhaps there’s other stuff in there too…)

A colleague and friend asked me several years ago, “What do you most want to do?”
My answer: “Sit on the porch overlooking the water and write.”
“Well,” he asked after a pregnant pause, “What do you need to do in order to do that?”

What indeed.

I also recognize that the VAST MAJORITY of the world’s population have, do, and probably always will work at things to feed and shelter their families that are in no way connected to their passions and dreams and personality. They do what needs to be done. Perhaps it is expressly western privilege that leads me to think I can and should do otherwise.

And, there is plenty of other meaningful work that I find very rewarding. I LOVE congregational ministry. Sermon preparation and delivery, worship planning and leadership, leadership development, teaching, strategic planning, community engagement, pastoral visitation, EVEN MEETINGS. I find meaning and purpose in all of it. The casual conversations at a Thursday morning men’s breakfast coffee klatch at McDonalds are enjoyable and important. This week I led 16 octogenarians and above in a brief service of Eucharist and Ashes. I could tell by their expressions that this was incredibly important to them, and thus an immensely important way for me to spend an hour of my time.

I don’t want to be one of those people who delays the pursuit of life’s passions for retirement, only to drop dead of a heart attack the next week. My ow grandfather died at age 59 on the dais during the hymn of preparation for the sermon on the Monday of Holy Week. I never knew him, but by all accounts he lived a rich and full life and did the things he found important, worthwhile and meaningful. That’s what matters. Whether he had unfulfilled hopes and dreams for himself and others, I don’t know. That’ll be a good conversation with my own father and uncle soon. A neighbor of mine lost his wife of 50+ years 6 months after moving into the first home they ever owned together – he was career military so they’d always lived in base or government owned housing. He’s going on to live a rich full life, but I wonder if they’d have done something differently had they known. I’ve seen so many clergy suffer severe health problems within 1 year of retiring, as if their body said, “Finally, I can rest long enough to be sick because you’re not dragging me around every which way.”

The most important impact I make is in the lives of my wife and two children. That is completely clear for me. There is no argument that can prevail against it.

AND, I think I have something to contribute to the larger world, to the church, and to the conversation about how leaders in ministry can flourish and thrive in the coming decades. This matters, because communities’ health and well-being is greatly impacted by the organizations and institutions within them. Individual and grassroots resilience can overcome immense dysfunction in local institutions. Even so, everyone benefits when local congregations, nonprofits, education, government and businesses are healthy.

And organizations can not be healthy if their leaders are not healthy.

And it is incredibly difficult to be a healthy leader in the midst of a dis-eased institution.

Thus, supporting leaders in today’s institutions matters. It creates direct impact in the real lives of individuals and households throughout our communities, regardless of population size or demographic diversity.

If I could find a way to impact that system from my study, I would. At present, I don’t know how to do that other than by pastoring a local congregation, serving in nonprofit leadership, offering coaching and consulting, and showing up in local communities. If you or someone you know wants to pay me to research and write perhaps in an international think tank on leadership impact, please let me know.

Until then, I look forward to seeing you in church, in a coworking space, or at the local coffee shop.

Strengths Based Teams

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You work as part of a team. There are times when everything flows smoothly and you are amazed at the productivity. Other times the wheels come off, and you can’t figure out why. Leadership StrengthsFinder Matrix

Our matrix combines the unique strengths of each team member into one graph, allowing you to see at a glance where the TEAM Strengths gravitate, and where there is reduced or no emphasis. This does not mean the team cannot accomplish these tasks or function in these ways, but simply that it will not come as easily or naturally. It also suggests that future team development will benefit by filling in the present gaps.

StrengthsFinder can help you understand how you function best – the areas in which you are naturally gifted AND which energize you. Let us help you develop your own leadership and your team functioning for peak performance across all your key metrics.

GROW

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This is a useful acronym for a basic process of coaching. You can use this with yourself, in a group where you are a member, and in coaching others.

Goal – What is the desired future state toward which you wish to move?

Reality Check – What is currently going on? What are the feelings, thoughts, actions that brought you to this present, and are keeping you here? What strengths and deficits are part of that picture.

Options for steps forward – What can I/You/We do to move from our present reality to our preferred future? What else? And what else? This is the brainstorming session of the process, where there are no silly, dumb or bad ideas. The more we limit ourselves during this phase, the less our prospect of reaching our goal with success and significance.

Will – “What will I do?” This is the place where I choose a path forward, from all the options identified above. Between “Options” and “Will” critical evaluations and discernment will be made. We also recognize that trial and error, failure and trying again are critical to the process of development.

Exploring the bounds of truth

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May God give us strength…

“There is no class of people upon earth who can less afford to let the development of truth run ahead of them than you. You cannot wrap yourselves in professional mystery…you cannot go back and become apostles of the dead past, driveling after ceremonies, and letting the world do the thinking and studying. There must be a new spirit infused into the ministry….We must be more industrious in investigation, more honest in dedication, and more willing to take the truth in its new fullness.” Rev. Henry Ward Beecher, Yale, 1871. (Niebuhr, Williams, Ahlstrom 1980, 257-8)

Interesting how the arguments of our own day often mirror those of earlier ages – in this case the period between 1860 and 1900. This debate is nothing new. One could argue that a similar struggle existed between the Sadducees and Pharisees who believed that the cannon of truth was tightly proscribed (in the case of the Sadducees) and more open to continuing revelation (in the case of the Pharisees). Of course, even the Pharisees wanted to place a limit on that revelation that found Jesus’ own teachings distinctly on the outside.

The challenge becomes, as it has always been, how to hold to and honor truths of the past while also remaining open to new and continually unfolding insights and receptions of revelation from beyond human intellect and creativity. And for clergy and congregational leaders, how to stand in the midst of that tension, with it also existing internally in the heart and mind of the individual leader, and facilitate a process of dialogue, mutual appreciation and growth in maturity toward wholeness. May God give us strength.